Erwin and Fanny's Motorcycle Diaries: Day Zero

Gaston: Our Russian Minsk!

Tiffany and I have been talking up this motorcycle trip in Vietnam since we started planning Vietnam. It’s a 6 or 7 day motorcycle loop of Northwestern Vietnam. We drove little mopeds in Vang Vieng (Laos) and Dalat (Vietnam) so we figured we were ready for the Big Trip! We were reading about this trip in the Vietnam Lonely Planet (we just got our hands on one today) and it said this trip on motorbikes is spectacular but only for the experienced biker – meaning: “has driven a moped 2X?” Mmm… that should have been our first clue and actually by this point I was getting very nervous. Tiffany didn’t seen bothered but she’s a different breed of girl- let me tell you! – granted I do think she’s a better driver than I…

So after we got back from our boat tour we went to the motorbike rental place that was recommended by lonely plant to rent these bikes called Russian Minsk’s. I took one look at the Russian Minsk and just about pooped my pants. It’s a big bike. Like a proper bike. Not a scooter like I’m “used to” driving (and “used to” as in 2X experienced).

The guy who worked there, Nam (who was absolutely adorable – by the way) told me to hop on and showed me how to kick start it and use the clutch to change gears, etc. Then he told me to take a spin around the block. You want me to do what? By myself? I thought.

I looked back at Tiffany with a look of terror in my eyes and she nodded and smiled at me encouragingly. I looked at Nam next and he smiled at me too- urging me on. Fine, I thought, it can’t be that bad. Just around the block right?

Pause for a second. Driving around “the block” in Hanoi is not your typical neighborhood block. The traffic in Hanoi is absolutely insane! Drivers are weaving in and out, cutting here and there, crossing over into head on traffic. Organized chaos it is.

Anyways… I start to go really slowly down this street. I take the first right. People are honking their horn and not just b/c I look fine. They are coming so close to my bike I envision my legs being crushed… then I take another right. I’m talking to myself at this pint. I’m riding this Big Bad Ass bike through Hanoi talking to myself. I’m scared. I’m wearing yoga pants and flip flops. Other foreigners are staring at me. I’m starting to feel really cool and then I stall the bike. I’m cursing in my head- or at least I think it was in my head.

Then I realize I no longer recognize where I am. I think I missed a right back there somewhere? I push my bike – which I can barely even push because it’s so heavy – to the side of the road as far over as possible. Then I literally just sit there straddling my bike for about 5 min. I was frozen. Finally I say to myself: Erin, think. All you have to do is retrace your steps. Easy! But then I’d panic thinking I’d have to cross the traffic to change directions. I honestly didn’t think I could make it.

Finally, these Vietnamese men who were watching me for awhile came over to see what was wrong. They thought I’d run out of gas so I had to act out the fact that I was lost. I couldn’t even remember the name of the rental place. So one of the guys hopped on my bike he drove me back to the place while I directed him. It was so nice of him to drive me back. I mean really… what a geek I am! Everyone was laughing at me when I came back on the back of this motorbike with a random Vietnamese guy driving me. The really funny thing was he didn’t even really know how to drive it either. He didn’t know how to shirt gears and stuff and he was used to the little moped too. So we revved our way in first the whole way back.

At this point, Tiffany had gone looking for me on another motorbike. She’s a good driver and has a much better sense of direction than I. She was like, “Oh Erin, how did you manage to get lost!?” It’s like me and computers and me and directions. Something always goes wrong! I just can’t explain it.

So that night after my driving fiasco I went back to the room to grab something before dinner and I cried. I said I don’t want to die! I know I’m going to die and my family will be devastated and I really really want to live!! So then I met Tiffany and told her I cried and I was scared.

Pause for a second. Tiffany is definitely the boyfriend in our relationship and I’m sure at some point in this trip people have thought we were lesbians. Since we’ve been traveling we’ll go into a guesthouse and ask how much rooms are? Then we’ll say. No 1 bed. Just one bed! We’re really adamant about it because it’s usually cheaper. I think sometimes we’ve gotten some strange looks… oh well. Anyways, Tiffany is an extremely gutsy girl. I certainly don’t view myself as a wimpy girl but Tiffany is one of the most independent, adventurous, fearless girls I’ve ever met!

So Tiffany then gave me a little pep talk and we talked about the possibility of sharing a bike. I was all over that idea b/c I was really beginning to think this motorbike trip wasn’t a good idea after all. After I made sure I was aloud to drive on the open road sometimes we agreed this was the best option!

After dinner we went off to buy last minute essentials for this trip. Rain jackets, batteries, face masks to protect us from breathing fumes and pollution from vehicles. We bought cool Barbie facemasks. Then I prayed for God’s protection on this trip. Something was telling me we are going to need a little more protection than our Barbie face masks could provide…